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In a healthy relationship, each partner feels like they have a say in decision-making, even when it comes to money.

In a relationship where some form of abuse is present — whether physical or emotional — it is not uncommon that an abusive partner extends their power and control into the area of finances.

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Don't even get me started on full-blown dinners, the movies, big nights out or the tiny little extras like stopping on the way home for a fancy hot chocolate. But, and this is a big one, that doesn't mean you can get away with never going out, getting presents, planning trips or talking on the phone.Being in a relationship may enrich your life, but it's definitely doing no favors for your wallet. Let's start with how you got here (here being the point where you start stuffing credit card statements into your sock drawer in order to hide from the shame): It's Friday. Nothing too crazy, just meet a few friends for a drink or two at a local pub, maybe have a couple of appetizers and then retreat back home to watch a movie. Even if you two are splitting the tab now and then, all that socializing can cause some serious damage to your wallet. But, I still pine for the days when my cell phone usage consisted of a few work calls and the occasional call to friends, which would go something like this: “Hey, you want to get a drink tonight? Try to limit your nights out to one night a week or even less.Find out where you're spending the most money on your girl and plug those holes ASAP. One to two nights out a week can break you faster than you think. If you like the socializing, then something has to give.This is known as economic or financial abuse and it can be very difficult to recognize.It can be something as seemingly innocent as an abuser telling their partner what they can and cannot buy, or something as major as an abuser restricting a partner’s access to bank accounts.

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